It is the end of another year. Overall, I think 2016 has been good to me. In many ways, this has been a year of tremendous growth for me. This is the year that I finally put down my school books (I have been in school way too long!) and joined the work force in a very respectable industry albeit after a period of struggle. It took a few academic degrees to find myself but I’m saving the explanation for another post. But yes, as a strong believer in self-learning, I have put down my school books for now but not books! Aside from making modest progress in my career, I would say the highlight of this year has been my emotional and psychological growth as a person.
For too long, I found myself in a position in life where I was very unsatisfied with the people I interacted with and the environment. I readily assigned the blame for all my failures and misfortunes to my circumstances. Just like I often accused others of playing the victim, I had a victim mentality too. Obviously, for a few years, I was surrounded by friends (and family) who exhibited the same tendency and offered me the support I needed to blame my circumstances. When things did not go my way, I was naturally inclined to complain, complain and complain. But did I ever pause for one minute to think about why I was in these circumstances in the first place? How did I become a victim time after time? Is the world really out to get me? I grew up with loving parents, received a top-notch education and have never struggled financially. I am on friendly terms with everyone I know. But something is missing. What am I missing anyway?
The year 2016 was a turning point. It was the year that I finally worked up the courage to confront myself and began to ask the right questions. Most of all, I confronted my own immaturity. Instead of moping around drowning in sorrow whenever something deviates from my plan, it’s time to take a look at what I can do to change my circumstances. It’s also important to study the patterns in life. For example, why do I keep falling into the same psychological trap in my interactions with people? Maybe it has to do something with the way I interact with them. Alternatively, it may not even be my problem at all; in this case, why not just find a different set of friends and not waste my time on incompatible personalities? However, when it comes to co-workers, the same people you work with 8-10 hours a day, it is important to be adaptable to everyone’s personality. If you want to put your best foot forward in your career, being adaptable is a real skill to have. One thing I always tell myself when I get frustrated is that the world does not revolve around my needs;others do not owe me anything. The only person who owes anyone anything is myself; I owe it to myself to be positive and to accept the world the way it is. I think the greatest difference between extraordinary people and all others is adaptability.
I cannot speak for other people, but I can definitely speak for myself. That is, I am actually very much in control of my circumstances. There are always choices. You cannot change other people. Either you must adapt to your circumstances or you change your circumstances by going somewhere else whether it’s moving to a new city, befriending new people or just making other changes in your life.
2016 was a real eye-opener. I hope that all of my readers have learned as much as I did.